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LisaHoran
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Name: Lisa
Country: United States
State: Arkansas
Metro: Russellville
Birthday: 4/16/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: live music, running, biking, edible plants, college, coffee houses, my family, brown rice, hemp, poetry, german existentialist authors, crochet, hammocks, the beauty of the unpleasant, spiral notebooks, papertowel tubes, autobiographies, fabric scraps, trees and grass, jazz, dictionaries, roots or folk music, rest, exploration, world music, "old-time" rock and roll, and YOU!
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/30/2005
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| Just to clarify, the issue wasn't really that I felt guilty about enjoying music, it was that I just wasn't enjoying it. And while I can't say "problem solved" just yet, I certainly have a bit more clarity on what God's trying to teach me through it. Thank you all for your encouragement and wisdom. It's amazing how much a few words can make a difference. Moving on... My voice instructor says that it sounds like there's some damage on my vocal chords. Not surprising since I pretty frequently and intentionally break the rules of proper singing. So I went to the Speech and Hearing Clinic and let them stick a camera down my throat. I watched on a tv screen as I sang a few notes. My vocal chords are BEAUTIFUL! I imagine this is a mild version of what a mother feels when she first sees her baby on an ultrasound. They were smooth and pearly, and they just kinda waved around like they didn't mind working at all. I wish everyone could see! I'm so proud of them. Not a bit of damage. | | |
| Before God blessed me with the gift of belief, I was a very intentional worshipper of music. I knew that music was my god, the entire purpose and drive for my living. I can hardly think of any experience in my life more difficult than the tearing down of this idol. Especially when I'm right in the middle of such intense musical training. I know He's trying to teach me to find my joy completely in Him, but I find myself seriously mourning the loss of the joy I found in music. I'm frustrated, discouraged, dissatisfied. I can't tell if the struggle is an indication that I should be on some different course, or if it's "the birthing pains of a new spirit." A lot of my motivation died with that joy as well. I understand that the definition of discipline is doing what you need to do when you have little to no desire to do it. And I'm beginning to understand that I'm no good at discipline. Sorry for being such a downer. | | |
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This is how we change the world. | | |
| I WROTE A SONG! It's been mmmmonths, but God finally blessed me with some creativity again. | | |
| I'm HOME! The Arkansas night sky is magnificent. Maybe the stars at night are big and bright in Texas, but Arkansas has MORE STARS. Even the littlest ones shine.
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